Marg: tell me all about it
9:06 PM Matt: Well, my beef is with people who use instagram to feed their ego
You know, people who always post various pics of them.
9:07 PM glam shots, vanity shots, duck face shots.
It's all too much!
Marg: ha
 |
| Duck Face |
9:08 PM Matt:
I feel like instagram is a great way to share your experiences with
other people through photos. But so many people use it just to show off.
It's annoying.
9:09 PM Marg: well, people like that abuse the system, you know?
Matt: is that what that is?
9:11 PM Marg: It's the same personality type that over takes facebook with pictures of themselves
9:13 PM like,
it is one thing to be tagged in photos or even end up with the
occasional self portrait BUT, it's entirely different if you are taking a
photo of yourself daily
Matt: what is that personality?
Like, what's that all about?
9:14 PM Marg: it's like a culturally accepted narcissism
9:15 PM Matt: Right.
9:16 PM And
I have a lot of people on Twitter/ FB/ Instagram who are entertainers
and personalities. So I totally get the need for self promotion. Like go
for it.
But sometimes people cross the line, and then lots of other people who don't need to self promote do it anyway!
9:17 PM Marg: people think they are celebrities, I think
9:18 PM Matt: Well- most of you ain't.
9:19 PM So just take pictures of your food like everyone else and leave your model faces out of it.
Marg: ha
Matt: It's not online dating
not grindr
Marg: ew, online dating
9:20 PM Matt: Not a fan?
Marg: well, I can't imagine that I would be, no
9:21 PM Matt: Oh I think it's fine- the way the world works.
There's a stigma about it in small towns. But people need to get over it
PLUS, it's usually bitter single people that complain about it.
9:22 PM Marg: I just think it's cheesy, to be honest
Matt: explain
9:24 PM Marg:
Like, either you would have to say "I would like some boners up in this
joint please" or announce to the world that you are super invested in
the idea of a relationship
Anything in between is going to offer too much room for interpretation
9:25 PM And the only way to really sort through all these people is to go on dates
9:26 PM And
god - dates? The idea of dates is super fun, until you think of the
reality of that... sitting through a whole drink with a dud?
Matt: But, you can sit through 5 duds then maybe find 1 gem
9:27 PM Marg: Those are some shitty odds
Matt: haha
9:28 PM Well, I think if someone wants to do it, then why the hell not. And it's stupid for other people to judge them.
(like I used to)
9:29 PM Marg: I'm not judging the people doing it, it just super doesn't appeal to me
You are talking like you are up-close and personal to internet dating, btw
9:30 PM Matt: Yeah, I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to online dating.
Marg: Do we even know anyone who has done it?
Matt: I know lots of people on grindr.. stuff like that.
9:31 PM And I know people who've done match.com, okcupid
Marg: No one has ever admitted to me that they've used something like that
9:33 PM Matt: really?
I know tones. But, only people I've met in Toronto.
9:34 PM Marg: I like, don't know any single people here
Matt: I guess...
but you will
9:35 PM Marg: still, I am not sure they would tell me about it because I'd make face and be like "okcupid?"
9:36 PM And then I'd be like "no, it's cool, yeah, people have success stories all the time..."
9:37 PM And
they'd say how they heard from some really cute guy, and I'd say how
fun it would be to pretend to be a dude on the internet just to see how
many lies you could get away with, and then they'd look scared
Matt: Lots of people use the internet just to hook up
9:38 PM Marg: Well see, that makes sense to me
I am not in the least bit confused by that, and think it seems quite practical and more thrifty than going to a club
9:41 PM Matt: So going online for sex is totally understandable, but going online for love is ridiculous?
Marg: I didn't say ridiculous, just cheesy
9:42 PM Matt: oh sorry.
Marg: I mean, "looking for love"... or these women who declare "I'm ready to meet my husband!"
9:43 PM That's no way to live
online or off
9:45 PM Matt: so what would you say to people who are looking for love?
Marg: sort yourself out!
9:46 PM Matt: hahaha
Note to self: Don't go to marg when feeing vulnerable
9:47 PM Marg:
No, you specifically should go to me when you're feeling vulnerable
because I won't support you wallowing in the idea that having a man is
going to fix all your problems
9:48 PM Matt: preach it!
9:49 PM Marg: I'd buy you a copy of The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein, and a beer, and you'd be all set
9:50 PM Matt: can you buy me the audiotape?
9:53 PM Marg: it's a children's book
9:56 PM I'd buy you the 2nd book too, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, to give you hope
9:57 PM Matt: is the big O oprah?
Marg: sadly, it is just a circle
9:59 PM Matt: I was never good at drawing circles
they never connected properly
10:01 PM Marg: ha
| 11 minutes |
10:12 PM Marg:
Anyway, I don't want you to think that I don't believe in love (I do!!)
or that I wish loneliness on people (I don't!) but it's just not a
method that appeals to me at all
10:13 PM Matt: well, that's fine.
10:15 PM Marg:
but I will throw it out there that I don't believe there is someone in
this world for everyone, so some people are just going to fail miserably
at this sort of thing
10:16 PM Matt: i think there are multiple people out there for everyone
Marg: but no... some people have no one...
10:17 PM Matt: hahaha
that's not possible
Marg: Of course it is!
Some people don't want anyone else, for one thing
10:18 PM And for another, how do you account for all the many many people who end up alone?
10:20 PM Matt: there being multipe people out there for everyone has nothing to do with weather or not someone actually wants one
10:21 PM Marg: okay, but that doesn't discount all the people who really want one and never ever get one
10:22 PM Matt: well maybe they need to do self work to attract someone
10:24 PM Marg:
well maybe they do, sure, but there are lost causes in the world, as
sad as it may seem, and no amount of work is going to make it happen.
And the tragic thing, is that plenty of seemingly worse off people will
probably find someone
10:25 PM So
basically, if we believe in fate, then it is fate that certain people
will never find even one person (and others will find multiple)
10:26 PM Matt: i believe in fate
10:27 PM but
I also believe that there is at least one person out there for
everyone, it doesn't mean that everyone will find them- but they're out
there
Marg: Okay, then you must concede that fate has decided to make some people lonely by sticking their person in the middle of China
10:29 PM Matt: haha
10:30 PM just because someone is alone doesnt mean they're always lonely
10:32 PM Marg:
well no, but then again, if they are perfectly content alone, then who
is to say that they have some other person that they are "meant" to be
with?
10:34 PM me: well the word "meant" is stupid
10:35 PM more like, there are multiple people out there for everyone, regardless is you care or not.
10:37 PM Marg:
I think what my point is though, is that while for the practical
reasoning of not believing in a "one" by default, then that works,
totally - BUT, it just isn't a very good blanket statement
So yes, great life philosophy which I believe in, yes
10:38 PM But no, simply not applicable to all the souls on the earth, at least not in any useful way, no
10:41 PM Matt: well nothing is applicable to all of the souls on earth
10:42 PM Marg:
maybe I am just trying to keep you in check Matthew, gotta stop you
from making sweeping statements that say "everyone" if you just mean
some people, haha
| 6 minutes |
10:49 PM Matt: everyone needs to be kept in check at some point
oh wait, some people...
10:50 PM Marg: I didn't mean some people with any special meaning!
10:52 PM Matt: hahaha
10:57 PM Marg: how do you decide that one thing is fate but another thing is just something that happens?
Matt: what do you mean?
10:58 PM Marg: well... do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
10:59 PM Matt: yes
Marg: so everything, or just the important things?
I'm genuinely curious
11:01 PM Matt: I've never thought of it beyond the important things
but i guess all
11:02 PM Marg: hmm. I think fate is too passive for my tastes.
11:03 PM Matt: so you think things just happen, and thats that?
11:04 PM Marg: well, no, I just don't think things happen because of some cosmic force
11:05 PM And sometimes, stuff does just happen - some of which really doesn't affect more important things
11:06 PM And
although it is a kind of interesting G. Paltrow in Sliding Doors kind
of game to play, where you imagine how different things could be with
just a minor chance, it's no way to live
11:09 PM And!
11:10 PM AND!
11:11 PM If
we are talking romantically, there absolutely are people that I was
with who I am not supposed to be with - but, not because of the
universe, just because of my own happiness
11:13 PM me:
See I don't believe that. I think that even when someone dates someone
who they aren't "supposed" to be with, they were supposed to be with
them at that time, because they have learned something.
And when the move on from that relationship they will be smarter, and better in their next one.
11:15 PM Marg: Yeah but see, I almost feel like you are confusing having a healthy perspective on life with fate
It is healthy to learn from your past relationships, it doesn't always happen though
I think a good number of people get worse and worse!
11:16 PM Matt: I think it probably does...
it you really think about it
11:17 PM Marg:
I am thinking about it, and again, it only adds up if the individuals
we're talking about have some reasonably healthy perspectives to begin
with.
I know people who keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again
11:18 PM And I know people who get in horrible relationships after they were in okay ones
11:19 PM Matt: I'm starting to get confused...
11:21 PM Marg:
I'm just saying from my perspective (which isn't trying to tell you not
to believe in fate but certainly is going to play devils advocate) that
everything you are saying is smart and a healthy way to look at
relationships
11:22 PM BUT,
so many people in the world don't look at their relationships in a
smart or healthy way (usually because they are not smart)
Matt: if you are smart and healthy
Marg: Fate works if you are smart and healthy, basically
11:23 PM So, is that really fate? Or, you know, being smart and healthy, haha
Matt: ahhhh
that's an interesting question
11:24 PM Marg: I know!
Matt: And I don't know the answer
11:25 PM Marg: we're not philosophers - so I think we've done a good job with what we've got
Matt: Maybe it's fate that makes you smart and healthy or stupid
Marg: hahahaha
maybe!
11:26 PM Matt: I like that thought
And on that- goodnight.
Marg: night!
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